through a fair few things in my life...
When you come home in the dark evenings to an empty home, that's tough. When you've had a really bad day and don't have anyone to go home to, that's tough. When you've never used a washing machine or oven and suddenly you're thrown into having to learn how they both work, you've not eaten and all your clothes need washing and there's nobody there to share the load with, that's tough.
When you decide at 11.30pm that you want to take a long hot shower and sing along to the spice girls, that's fun. When your friends turn up unannounced with a bottle of wine and packed for a sleepover, that's fun. Decorating the place just as you want, that's fun.
Sundays are particularly tough on your own. For me Sundays are all about lazy, cuddly mornings in bed, bacon sandwiches, old movies, long walks, and the smell of a Sunday dinner wafting through your home. It's tough when you're on your own.
Living alone is tough, it's lonely and you can never truly be prepared for just how difficult it is, but the fact that I've done it makes me tremendously proud. I've survived on my own, I've cried alone and laughed alone. I will never enjoy living alone, I'm a people person. It's OK to admit that some nights I feel exceptionally lonely, but I've done so well, I've survived!
I'd never used a washing machine or oven before, let alone a dishwasher! I now do my own washing, cooking and cleaning. I deal with the bills, make important phonecalls, plan my meals. I'm responsible for this home on my own, I can't pass the buck to anybody else. If something goes wrong it's my responsibility to deal with it and that's empowering.
I've had some good times, from birthday parties that turned into carnage, to spontaneous nights with my neighbours I've got some good memories. I will look back with fondness one day, I hope. I don't enjoy living alone but I've survived, and that will always be my greatest accomplishment.
All I needed was faith, trust and maybe a tiny drop of Pixie dust....
